How to be a Sex Goddess

Girls! (Women, if you prefer, and many of us still do.) Remember the times when you were turned into a sex object by some cad with no couth–and less self-esteem? Using the raw power of your own allure, you turned these raunchy episodes into “relationships”–maybe one, maybe several, but it’s been years. Right?

And now, you’ve got some years on you, girl, and if you’re lucky, it’s your mate, partner, or husband who’d like to be the sex object, if only he could remember how. (So what else is new? They were doing their wish fulfillment number on us all along: For the final proof of that, see How To Become a Sex Object by one of our favorite such objects.)

So before it’s too late, remind him. Flaunt your allure: it’s half attitude anyway–and the rest is theater. What do you look like right now? Well, wipe the crumbs off your sweat pants, tighten your ponytail, and listen up. You’ve graduated. You are about to become an elicitor of drool, a heightener of appendages, a leading cause of heart failure, and the most potent of XX-chromosomes cocktails: a sex goddess. Rise above the battle of the sexes. Here’s how:

Dress the Part
Here’s the thing. Sexy is strikingly subtle. It’s about him looking twice without really understanding why he’s doing it. About him groping for words to explain to his pals exactly what it is about you that’s giving him palpitations. Sure, if you go the chest spilling out of dress route, you’ll get second looks too. But those guys’ll know why they’re doing it. And it won’t be words they’ll be groping for.

This isn’t to say there’s no room in sex-objecthood for stilettos and fishnet. There absolutely is. But it’s not in luring a new man to your bed–it’s in keeping the old one there.

The downside of dressing the part: If you look sexy, you don’t get to pick who notices. Men outside your bandwidth of age, occupation, and culture will find you attractive. Be kind, Killer

Cultivate a Sexy Body
This doesn’t mean a size 6 body. (And it doesn’t mean baring your size 6 body if you do have one). It does mean you should think of yourself as a sexy person. It’s catching. There are things you can do to make any body sexier:

Stay Fit
Work out. It feels good. It reminds you what your body can do. Staying fit means having a body that you’re at peace with and proud of. And a body whose faults you don’t point out to your spouse. If you keep telling him you’re fat, he’ll eventually believe you

Pamper Your Hands
Look at your hands. Are these the hands you think men picture in their fantasies of being rubbed down on the balcony of a Parisian chalet? Or are these the hands of the maid who comes in the next morning to pick up the trail of clothes? Fantasywoman has fun with her hands. She doesn’t bite her nails, she wears nail polish. On her hands and her feet. Next time you polish your nails, watch how differently you automatically start moving your hands and feet. It’s grace in a little red bottle.

Take Care of Your Skin
Take a tip from steamy shower commercials: exfoliate. Soft skin feels sexy. Buy those scratchy bath gloves and a bottle of body wash. Pay particular attention to your derriere. It’s got little bumps all over it. Sorry, babe. Nobody ever had the heart to tell you.

After every bath, moisturize yourself to dewy perfection. On nights when you’re sleeping alone, slather petroleum jelly or Neosporin ™ over your feet and hands and cover with socks.

Act Like a Sex Goddess
Sex goddesses don’t absentmindedly rub the wax out of their ears in public. They don’t try to secretly pick food out of their teeth in public or snap their gum. They don’t clip their nails in bed, even if they’ve been married for a gazillion years. Letting it all hang out is not sexy.

Acting like a sex goddess is work. It takes time. It takes planning. It takes restraint. Here’s how:

You’re a Goddess, Not a Mother
Sex goddesses care about the men in their lives, but they don’t (s)mother them. They do suggest that he take an umbrella if it’s going to rain, but they only suggest it once and if he says no, they don’t hide one in his briefcase or bring an extra one themselves, “just in case.”

Be a Goddess in All Ways, Even Small Ways
Sex goddesses eat more than salad and they don’t keep sending their food back to the kitchen. Men hate picky eaters. It betrays a lack of passion.

A sex goddess looks right at people when they talk to her. Ignore any distraction. Rapt attention is very seductive.

Pay Attention to Your Man
A sex goddess keeps her man off balance and feeling sexy by noticing–and mentioning–the little things about him that turn her on, like the scent of his breath, the muscle tone in his calves, the sound of his voice on an answering machine, his sexual techniques. And every once in a while (infrequently enough that he never expects it) she leaves thoughtful little gifts (like his favorite gum) where he’ll find them (like in his suit pocket).

Develop Your Social Skills
If you had even three extra minutes a day, sure you could make yourself more interesting and connected to the world. But by the time you get dinner on the table there’s no time to chase headlines, let alone make love on the stairs. Here are some easy ways to make sure you’re always on everyone’s dance card:

Don’t Be Shy
Invite people over often, and initiate new friendships. You’ll get invited back regularly. And you’ll meet all kinds of people who would have otherwise never had the chance to notice how charming you are. And your significant other will notice, too.

Make the Most of Your Time
Sexy women are really busy; busy in their own lives and interests. Their passion for what they do shows. So get thee a hobby, fast. If you can’t think of anything fun to do, ask people around you what they do for fun, and if you can go with them next time.

Don’t just multitask; use your time well. Cultivate your mind while you take care of mundane tasks. Read the newspaper while you floss your teeth. Grab the radio and turn it up while you make dinner. Or while you’re in the shower. Or better yet, while he’s in the shower with you (of course, that’s no mundane task!).

Speak Out
Sexy women are not ditzy. They are not doormats. They have opinions and they voice them. They can carry on a feisty debate with the best of ’em. They know what’s going on the world because they read, watch, or listen to the news every day.

Every one of us can do it, feel sexy, think sexy and you will be sexy.

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